Marriage Counseling San Diego, CA

Do you want to improve your marriage?

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Marriage therapy teaches techniques that promote increased awareness, understanding, self-esteem and empowerment within your marriage

Are you and/or your spouse currently worried about anything in your marriage? Does this worry create concern around the future of your marriage… or potential divorce? Does it feel like your marriage experiences the same struggles over and over again? Perhaps there isn’t even anything in particular that is “interfering in your marriage”, but you feel that it would just be helpful to talk to a professional before things get too off track. Maybe your marriage went through something recently and you would like to address it before it’s too hard to come back; or even divorce.

Marriage is hard

It involves so many moving parts. Not only do you have to navigate growing as individuals, but together as well. Of course, this is before we consider the impact of kids, finances, in-laws, career, and I don’t know… a pandemic?!?!?! Needless to say, as wonderful as marriage can feel, it can feel just as overwhelming. But, as common as it is for marriages to experience struggle, it is not as common to seek out assistance like we do with most other things. On average, marriages and couples endure ongoing struggles for six years before trying marriage or couples therapy. And, by the time they finally reach out for help, it is often when they are on the verge of separation. You don’t need to endure anymore and you are not alone. If your marriage is struggling, I would love to help.

Why Do Most Couples See a Marriage Therapist?

Marriage Therapy and Counseling Can Help!

Marriage therapy and counseling teaches tools and techniques that can help you and your spouse calm down more – and communicate – more easily; which promotes healthy problem-solving, open-communication, emotional awareness, and other aspects that are conducive to a fulfilling and successful marriage. I will listen and support both of you as you both develop productive systems, and grow both individually and together!

Together, you will learn how to:

Why Book a Marriage Therapy Session With Me?

In addition to my specific training as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I also have years of experience in the field working specifically with marriages and families. I have worked with marriage and relationships throughout my career in a variety of circumstances and treatment settings including school, community-based mental health care, and private practice. I have successfully helped many couples (including marriages) facing numerous hardships, complications and life changes together through improving emotional awareness, individual self-worth, and resolution-focused communication. Additionally, if you are an individual seeking a marriage counselor, I have lots of experience working with that as well, and I would love to help!

I love marriage work. Working on a marriage is working on a relationship that wants to be together forever. A commitment such as that deserves every ounce of support that is desired, and I believe my positive therapy approach is built for establishing strong foundations, friendship, intimacy, and trust that your marriage deserves. Although these elements are crucial to any relationship, using this approach in marriage counseling and therapy will focus on establishing, identifying and improving the foundations of your marriage. There is nothing I enjoy more than making it easier for couples to communicate and support one another so they may grow together. It’s truly a beautiful thing. Especially because of how often it is more easily accomplished than the couple initially thinks! With my combined knowledge, passion and experience, I will provide you with the skills and guidance to not only better navigate your marriage, but feel empowered and confident to use them on your own as you continue your life… together.

Are you ready to improve your marriage?

Contact me today to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation and see if marriage counseling in san diego is right for you!

MY STANDARD RATE IS $200 PER SESSION (50 MINUTES)
Prefer a longer session time? Just ask for details!

I do not accept insurance but I do offer Superbills that can be presented to insurance companies for reimbursement. Learn more about my rates and insurance.

Here are some typical questions regarding marriage counseling and therapy...

What does a marriage therapist do?

A licensed marriage and family therapist teaches specific tools and techniques that help partners improve emotional awareness, communication, and conflict-resolution skills that are highly conducive to a successful marriage. Additionally, a marriage therapist promotes discussion around each spouse’s expectations around marriage; which increases the understanding and clarity that is so important to marital satisfaction.

What are the warning signs of divorce?

Although “signs” of divorce are typically much more specific, as every marriage is different, the most common signs of a potential future divorce are typically:

You and/or your spouse are unhappy in your marriage
Most of the interactions between you two are negative or neutral, at best
You and/or your spouse find reasons to not engage with each other
Your friends or family are encouraging you to end your marriage
There is no intimacy and/or friendship… it’s just like you’re business partners or roommates
Your instincts are telling you that you need to leave your marriage
You and/or your spouse have changed values or priorities that conflicts with the other’s
Conflict results in cruel or disrespectful exchanges
Every day just feels hard in your marriage

What are the success rates of marriage therapy?

Although this answer largely depends on the skill of the therapist and the specific factors associated with the marriage/couple in question, traditional marriage therapy – as it is done today – has a success rate of 70% to 80% after the introduction of evidence-based practices like Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Therapy, or PACT. However, as I mentioned before, couples both have to work to make meaningful change, it takes time, and it really helps to have a marriage therapist you trust and connect with.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and therapy?

Technically, a “counselor” focuses on today’s issues and provides suggestions and techniques for that specific issue; whereas “therapists” focus on past struggles – in marriage, or personally for one or both spouses – to increase understanding around why we relate to others in the ways that we do. However, these terms are typically used more generally as synonyms for each other. Truth is, my style as a marriage and family therapist emcompasses both; as I have found that marital struggles are most often a combination of historically developed patterns and current problematic systems.

How long does it take for marriage therapy to work?

Seeing a marriage counselor and therapist can take time to start showing that it’s “working” or it can feel that it’s “working” immediately. In my experience, there are often multiple facets that need to be addressed individually. So, areas/topics that get addressed earlier will often yield results sooner than areas that have not yet been or just begun to be addressed. However, other times there is an overarching theme that impacts essentially every facet of the marriage; and once it is addressed, can result in multiple areas of the marriage improving at once. In short, marriage therapy can be anywhere from a couple of sessions to however long you want/need it to be.

What to Expect in Marriage Counseling Sessions?

A marriage therapist can help you and your spouse discover and express what is most important, so that your marriage can have the strong foundation it deserves. Marriage counseling sessions teach effective techniques that promote clear and considerate communication, while avoiding so many of the unnecessary miscommunications that disrupt intimacy and friendship in marriages. Additionally, seeing a marriage counselor teaches self-soothing and problem-solving techniques, so that you and your spouse can better maintain positive patterns that can lead that lifetime of happiness your marriage deserves. My intention is to be a real person in the room with you that cares about you, and creates a safe space for you and your spouse to share all of your current thoughts, concerns, and struggles. Together, we will identify and set goals by determining what you both want for your relationship, marriage, and yourselves; as individuals. Once we have a clear idea of where your marriage is – as well as where you want it to be – I will tailor treatment to what is most needed for you and your marriage; based on your respective Love Languages, Enneagram Tritype, and more. By establishing patterns that are both productive and authentic, we can further ensure lasting and positive change; even well after you have stopped seeing me. Whatever is learned during the session will be practiced between sessions as well, so that we can continue to refine the approach as we get to know each other better. I utilize various techniques that promote increased awareness, understanding, self-esteem and empowerment within marriages. One technique that I am specifically trained in that is geared toward the treatment of couples is the Gottman Method, which includes specific assessments and techniques to be used both inside and outside of session; some of which are specific to marriage counseling. I am also currently working towards certification for Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for the treatment of couples and marriages; so that I may be of even better assistance to you both on your journey.

Methods I Use as a Marriage Therapist

Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that assesses various areas of your marriage and integrates research-based interventions to help couples overcome obstacles and achieve greater understanding, connection, and intimacy in their marriage. In our sessions together, I will use various techniques from the Gottman Method to assess which areas could use the most support and provide techniques that best fit the obstacle(s) at hand. For more information about the Gottman Method for the treatment of married couples, visit the website for the Gottman Method Institute.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s. It is grounded in research while focusing on negative communication patterns and love as an attachment bond. In our sessions together, I will use evidence-based techniques of EFT to improve how you communicate in your marriage, and the love that bonded you in the first place. For more information about EFT for the treatment of married couples, visit the ICEEFT website.

Enneagram

The Enneagram is a personality assessment tool that is extremely useful in improving personal self-knowledge and personality development, offering a powerful tool for self-mastery, conflict resolution, team dynamics, leadership and emotional intelligence. I have been certified in the Enneagram, Enneagram Tritype, and Instinctual Types and Subtypes by Katherine Chernick Fauvre, the creator of Enneagram Tritype; who also just so happens to be my mother. Having grown up around this unique form of personality diagnostics I have applied and studied the Enneagram throughout my personal and professional life, and I am very passionate about using its power to help couples. I am not only able to help you and your spouse better understand each other’s motivations and communication styles, but also provide a better understanding of the very important characteristics that make you YOU. For more information about Katherine Chernick Fauvre, the Enneagram, Enneagram Tritype, and/or Instinctual Types and Subtypes, click the corresponding link(s).

Marriage Counseling in San Diego, CA

If you’re ready to build a stronger marriage and learn more about my marriage counseling and therapy services, please use the form above or call (858) 634-0502 for a free 15-minute phone consultation.

Spencer Chernick, LMFT
ADHD, Teen & Couples Therapy
5330 Carroll Canyon Rd Suite 120,
San Diego, CA 92121
(858) 634-0502

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