Grief Counseling San Diego, CA

Before I answer this, it is important to clarify that there is no such thing as “normal grief”. Everyone grieves in their own way. The term “normal grief” is more of an umbrella term for responses that are more common and, therefore, more predictable. Grief can hit you emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually… you name it! As a result, “normal grief” can include, but is not limited to: longing for, dreaming about, or being preoccupied with your loss, sadness, depression, crying, anger, fatigue, guilt, loss of interest in once pleasurable things, denial, despair, emotional reactivity, insomnia, confusion and disorganization, inability to concentrate, meaninglessness, withdrawal, avoidance, overreacting, numbness, relief, fear, shame, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, emptiness, loss of appetite, weight gain, passing hallucinations and more. Honestly, the only thing “normal” in grief is that it can impact in any amount of ways and last for any amount of time. However, it is also important to note that “normal grief” gradually makes its way toward acceptance and a general return to living an everyday life.

The most commonly reported stages of grief (in order) are shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, acceptance, and finding meaning. However, although this is the most commonly reported order of stages, grief does not tend to be linear. Instead of going from one stage to another in a fixed loop, people tend to go patterns that are inconsistent and specific to the individual’s loss. Over time, when fully processed and effective strategies are locked in, the idea is to get to a point where essentially all of your time is spent in the “acceptance” and “finding meaning” stages.

Those who struggle with complicated grief truly struggle to overcome and recover from their loss. Sometimes called persistent complex bereavement disorder, complicated grief responses to loss are debilitating, long lasting, and/or impair their ability to engage in daily activities.

As the name suggests, anticipatory grief is grief you can see coming ahead of time; such as when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, or a couple that knows their relationship will have to end when summer is over. Although the loss hasn’t actually happened yet, once we understand (and accept) that we will lose something, the grieving process begins… Grief counseling can help regardless of if your currently experiencing grief from a loss or anticipatory grief leading up to a loss. 

In short, yes… but no. Although often used synonymously with grief, bereavement is more accurately the time period that someone experiences grief. Grief is the emotional response that someone has when faced with a loss in their life of something or someone of importance.